بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
First of all we must note that marriage is not merely a financial and physical arrangement but a sacred contract, a gift from Allah and a way to fulfill half of one’s religion. The prophet (ﷺ) said: “When a man marries he has fulfilled half of the deen; so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half.” [Tirmidhi]
Wife’s rights
kindness
Allah mentions in the Qur’an:
“O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion. And do not make difficulties for them in order to take [back] part of what you gave them unless they commit a clear immorality. And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them – perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.” 4:19
Allah commands that firstly forced marriages are prohibited going against many of the cultural beliefs in the Muslim world who make it as the parents’ complete decision.
Kindness is a key concept in the household of a married Muslim couple. The man chose the woman as his spouse and thus entered a contract not only with her but with Allah too. Men must take heed as if one betrays his wife in this sense, one is betraying Allah.
Maintenance
Allah mentions in the Qur’an:
“Let a man of wealth spend from his wealth, and he whose provision is restricted – let him spend from what Allah has given him. Allah does not charge a soul except [according to] what He has given it. Allah will bring about, after hardship, ease.” 65:7
This duty must be fulfilled cheerfully without reproach or condescendence. Many of the men in the world feel a heavy load when spending on their spouse. For those who do not have much, let them spend from what they have. This shows us even further from a previous post on marriage that complete financial stability is not a necessity for nikkah in Islam.
Equity
The husband must treat his wife with equity and fairness in all sense in life. She is also entitled to her own accomodation with her wife and husband if it is financially viable. The husband cannot force his spouse to live with others such as family if she does not accept.
Respect
Respect her feelings, and to show her kindness and consideration. The prophet (ﷺ) said: “The most complete of the believers in faith, is the one with the best character. And the best of you are those who are best to their women.” [Tirmidhi]
Happiness
Not to show his wife any aversion or to subject her to suspense or uncertainty. Many of the men in today’s time judge their wives, not being happy with what they have when they themselves are imperfect. The prophet (ﷺ) said: “A believer must not hate a believing woman (i.e., his wife); if he dislikes one of her traits he will be pleased with another.” [Muslim]
Protection
Not to keep his wife with the intention of inflicting harm on her or hindering her freedom. The man asked for the woman’s hand in marriage, took her away from her family and thus takes on the responsibility of protection – not harm in any way.
The right to divorce
Let her demand freedom from the marital bond, if he has no love or sympathy for her. Unlike many other faiths, Islam allows divorce but must be fulfilled with certain conditions. This is the right of the woman as many are oppressed in their relationships – Islam gives a way out.
Trust
Be faithful in the relationship. The fact that the couple is married in Islam, Allah has put blessings between them. There is absolutely no right to be unfaithful in Islam.
Husband’s rights
Allah mentions in the Qur’an:
“O Allah, Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the joy and the comfort of our eyes, and guide us to be models of righteousness.” 25:74
The main obligation of the wife as a partner in a marital relationship is to contribute to the success and blissfulness of the marriage as much as possible. She must be attentive to the comfort and well-being of her mate. She may neither offend him nor hurt his feelings.
Trust
The wife must be faithful, trustworthy, and honest.
Conception
The wife must not deceive her husband by deliberately avoiding conception depriving any chance of offspring.
Intimacy
She must not allow any other person to have access to that which is exclusively the husband’s right. A wife may not deny herself to her husband, for the Qur’an speaks of them as a comfort to each other. Due consideration is, of course, given to health and decency.
Invitations
She must not receive anyone in the home whom the husband disapproves of.
Belongings
The husband’s possession are the wife’s trust. She must discharge her duty to handle any possessions wisely and carefully. She cannot lend or dispose of anything without his permission.
At the end of the day, marriage is a sacred bond in Islam. It forms not only the comfort and love in this world, but also a path to Jannah. Allah mentions in the Qur’an:
“O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from the Fire (hell)..” 66:6
Allah warns us to protect ourselves and our families – for those who are married this refers first and foremost to the spouse. Remind each other, call each other to the guidance of Allah. Make marriage the ultimate shield from the shaytan (devil) and not a way for him to deceive us.
The more we move away from Allah, the weaker the bond between the spouse will be. Never forget that the love between a husband and wife is put there by Allah.
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” 30:21
Allah knows best.