بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
Parents
The first and foremost decree Allah placed on his creation is to worship Him alone. Partnered up with this order is kindness to parents. Allah could have chosen any other factor here but specifically mentioned the parents to emphasise the importance of it.
Allah forbade any form of contemptuous speech towards the parents; mentioned in the Qur’an:
“And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], “uff,” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.” 17:23
The word given in Arabic is “oof” and even this simple groan of scorn is forbidden let alone any harsh or foul words. The importance of this is to the extent of that how you treat your parents can determine your fate in the afterlife.
“A man said, “Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) what rights can parents demand from their children?” He replied, “They are your Paradise and your Hell.”” [Tirmidhi]
This shows that your good actions will mean nothing if you do not treat your parents properly. Many of us will be carrying out the 5 pillars of Islam, doing a lot of good in the world but disrespect our parents. Our deeds will be worthless in this case.
“Abdullah ibn Amr related that the Messenger of Allah said: The major sins are to believe that Allah has partners, to disobey one’s parents, to commit murder, and to bear false witness.” [Bukhari]
It is the duty of the children to obey the parents as far as it is not unjust or against the demands of Allah.
There many other ayahs and narrations in regards to the importance of parents in Islam. What we must always keep in mind is that they are a responsibility which is not taken lightly in Islam.
The relationship between parents and children is summarised in the following hadith:
“A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your father.” [Bukhari]
Children
Respect in terms of parents and children must go both ways. Many parents forget that their children will follow in their footsteps. Therefore, disrespecting their children will inevitably push them to become disrespectful to them and to others.
It is also the responsibility of parents to not be hypocritical to their children. This will drive them away from Islam.
Parents must also realise that culture will not be the same with the children. They have and are growing up in a completely different environment. Methods of parenting based on culture will simply drive the children away – they must be parented based on their own surroundings.
Conclusion
Both parents and the youth have rights in their own way. There is no denying however, that the rights of the parents supersede those of the children as they are the ones who raised us.
We came into this world helpless and vulnerable. Our parents took care of us and will always put us before themselves.
“And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, ‘My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.'” 17:24
Children must take it not as a burden but a gateway to jannah: “Abdullah ibn Mas’ud RA said: “I asked the Prophet SAWS, ‘Which deed is most liked by Allah SWT?’ He said, ‘Prayer offered on time.’ I asked him, ‘Then what?’ He said, ‘Kindness and respect towards parents.’ I asked him, ‘Then what?’ He said, ‘Jihad for the sake of Allah SWT.’” ” [Bukhari]
Allah knows best.