بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
As explained in a previous post, zina is one of the worst major sins that can be committed. The simple explanation of zina is sexual relations outside the bond of marriage. Allah does not only prohibit zina but even going near it is considered part of the sin. He says:
“And do not go near unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way.” [17:32]
We live in times now when everything is sexualised. From movies to children’s cartoons/toys, even walking outside in the West is a fitnah. Undoubtedly it is one of the most difficult times to live in terms of zina especially for the youth who are constantly exposed to filth.
For those who truly wish to avoid it will have to put in the work. Allah only helps those who begin by helping themselves; we try our best then Allah makes things easier. Here are a few tools for those who sincerely wish to abstain from it:
- The prophet (ﷺ) said: “O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse, masturbation etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power.” [Bukhari] For our parents and elders, remember: when marriage becomes expensive and difficult, zina becomes cheap and easy.
- We all know that Allah has ordered both males and females to lower their gaze but it seems that we as mankind have difficulty in this, especially in our times. Not to say that the one who stares is not to be blamed, they are responsible for their sight, but for those who struggle there is a way to work towards stopping it: every time you stare at the opposite sex, make istighfar and pray 2 rakat or read a page from the Qur’an. This in turn will counter the sin as Allah says:
“..Indeed, good deeds do away with misdeeds. That is a reminder for those who remember.” [11:114]
Not only this but the shaytan will then link the stare with the prayer and Qur’an thus he will eventually avoid pulling you towards the sin in order for him to avoid you performing the good deed.
- Stop watching filthy movies and TV shows. This is not only including films with implicit scenes such as sexual activity or free mixing in clubs etc. but also those with inappropriate sense of dress. Women with tight or revealing clothing and makeup etc. or men dressed in a certain way revealing what is to be covered (from the navel to the knees) – these things will entice the body towards filth thus making it more difficult for the soul to tackle such desires.
- Stop accessing websites that you know will have material that will entice your sexual desires. This does not only include pornography (which is completely out the question) but also certain pages in social media sites or certain people’s profiles, don’t click on or follow their streams or posts and stop chatting with the opposite sex. Our electronic devices can either be a great tool or completely lead us astray – one must be weary of its power.
- Try to keep busy in life. If you find yourself doing nothing at all, do not stay alone unless it is in ibada (praying, reading Qur’an etc.). Stay with your family or go to the mosque, put yourself in a good environment. The places you go to and what you are doing will effect your desires and in turn effect your ability to control them.
- Watch who you are hanging out with. Your environment affects your mood and your ability to control your feelings. If you are free mixing or sitting with people who have no consciousness of Allah or Islam, it’s better not to be there in the first place. Mix with good people who fear Allah and remind eachother of goodness instead of evil.
- Keeping pure is another tool. Make wudu every time you go to the bathroom and ghusl every time you shower. Try to keep it throughout the day and before going to bed. Purity of the body in this manner will purify the soul. Allah says:
“..Allah loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves.” [2:222]
For those who Allah loves, there will always be ease in their hearts.
- Make dua. When Allah sees His slave trying, He will make things easier without any doubt, ask Him for help through dua. Never forget that Allah knows your struggles. However big or small, He knows it all and it is all recorded. Allah says:
“And with Him are the keys of the unseen; none knows them except Him. And He knows what is on the land and in the sea. Not a leaf falls but that He knows it. And no grain is there within the darknesses of the earth and no moist or dry [thing] but that it is [written] in a clear record.” [6:59]
He also reminds His slave:
“And We have already created man and know what his soul whispers to him, and We are closer to him than [his] jugular vein” [50:16]
Let us remember, tools such as these will not vanquish the desire but merely help keep it in control and will only help if we are already fulfilling our main duties as Muslims (such as our 5 daily prayers).
Allah tests us in this world through our desires and what we sacrifice for His sake is what will allow us to succeed, for our end goal is not temporary pleasure this world but permanent jannah in the next.
May Allah help all those who are struggling with the fitna of zina especially the youth.
Allah knows best.