بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
Friendship is a significant part of our lives. We are bound to the relationships we form around us. For our deen this can be either a path to paradise or hell so we must take heed of who we choose to be our friends.
Let us begin with the word of Allah:
“And hold firmly to the rope of Allah all together and do not become divided. And remember the favour of Allah upon you – when you were enemies and He brought your hearts together and you became, by His favour, brothers [and sisters]. And you were on the edge of a pit of the Fire, and He saved you from it. Thus does Allah make clear to you His verses that you may be guided.” 3:103
The importance of holding together and not separating is a crucial part of Islam. We are united as an Ummah to do what is right and to forbid evil – we must stick together to remind each other not only through our words but through our actions, how we live our everyday lives.
“The believing men and believing women are allies of one another. They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and establish prayer and give zakah and obey Allah and His Messenger. Those – Allah will have mercy upon them. Indeed, Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.” 9:71
Allah highlights to the Muslims the importance of settling issues between us. We are brothers and sisters in Islam, hatred and ill feelings towards one another will only separate us weakening the Ummah.
“The believers are but brothers [and sisters], so make settlement between your brothers [and sisters]. And fear Allah that you may receive mercy.” 49:10
We must remember that our friends have rights over us in Islam. The prophet (ﷺ) teaches us the way of a true Muslim friend: “‘The right of a Muslim upon a Muslim are six’ It was asked what are they? He replied
‘When you meet him, salute him (give salam),
when he calls you, respond to him,
When he seeks advice , give him advice,
When he sneezes and praises Allah, respond to him,
When he falls ill, visit him,
When he dies, follow him (the funeral bier);” [Muslim]
He (ﷺ) describes a Muslim friendship as the following: “You will see the believers in their mutual kindness, love and sympathy just like one body. When a limb complains, the whole body responds to it with wakefulness and fever.” [Bukhari]
Friendship, love and mercy to our brothers and sisters of the world is a key to true belief. The prophet (ﷺ) said: “You shall not enter Paradise until you believe; and you will not believe until you love one another. Shall I not guide you to a thing? Which when done, will make you love one another: spread the greeting of salam among you.” [Muslim]
The prophet (ﷺ) also said: “A muslim is a brother [sister] to a Muslim: Neither he wrongs him, nor hands him over (to another). And whoso comes in need of his brother, Allah comes in his need; and whoso removes a calamity of a Muslim, Allah will remove a calamity from the calamities of the Resurrection Day, and whoso conceals the faults of a Muslim, Allah will conceal his sins on the Resurrection Day” [Bukhari]
These are key attributes of a true friend in Islam. Allah also highlights who the real friends of a Muslim are:
“Your ally is none but Allah and [therefore] His Messenger and those who have believed – those who establish prayer and give zakah, and they bow [in worship].” 5:55
Without piety and righteousness, a friend is not a friend but merely a risk to one’s afterlife. This is not to say however, that everyone is perfect. We are all sinners – we all do wrong. We cannot leave a brother or sister to fend for themselves simply because they did wrong. This is not the way of a true Muslim. The prophet (ﷺ) said: “‘Help your brother [sister] whether he is a wrong-doer or is wronged’. A man enquired: ‘O Messenger of Allah, I may help him when he is wronged, but how can I help him when he is a wrong-doer? ‘ The prophet (ﷺ) replied ‘You can prevent him from wrong-doing. That will be your help to him.'” [Bukhari]
Let us take heed of these beautiful Ayahs and narrations from the prophet (ﷺ). True friendship today has become a rarity especially among the youth who many of which gather for the wrong reasons.
We must take heed on who we choose to be our friends. Our choice can determine the persona we pick up as time passes especially at a young age. Allah paints an eye opening scene in the Qur’an:
“And the Day the wrongdoer will bite on his hands [in regret] he will say, ‘Oh, I wish I had taken with the Messenger a way.
Oh, woe to me! I wish I had not taken that one as a friend.
He led me away from the remembrance after it had come to me. And ever is Satan, to man, a deserter.'”
“And the Messenger has said, ‘O my Lord, indeed my people have taken this Qur’an as [a thing] abandoned.'” 25:27-30
This is the moment mankind will have the upmost regret as to who they chose to be their friends in the dunya.
One may think that friends are merely people one hangs out with but we must take a step back and look at who these people are. Do they call to the remembrance of Allah? Or are they calling us to evil?
Is that guy/girl reminding us to go to the mosque? Or are they reminding us of that party or haram gathering?
We must be sincere; we know who is good for our deen and who is not. For those who are not it is our responsibility to call them to do right but at the same time we as Muslims cannot keep them close if they are calling us to evil.
We must not put ourselves in company that will make sinning an open and easy thing. The prophet (ﷺ) said: “A man is upon the religion of his best friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends.” [Tirmidhi]
We are the same as the friends we choose; but we also cannot push everybody away as they may need our help to get back on track.
Allah knows best.