Category: Common Questions

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

First of all we must note that marriage is not merely a financial and physical arrangement but a sacred contract, a gift from Allah and a way to fulfill half of one’s religion. The prophet (ﷺ) said: “When a man marries he has fulfilled half of the deen; so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half.” [Tirmidhi]

Wife’s rights

kindness

Allah mentions in the Qur’an:

“O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion. And do not make difficulties for them in order to take [back] part of what you gave them unless they commit a clear immorality. And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them – perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.” 4:19

Allah commands that firstly forced marriages are prohibited going against many of the cultural beliefs in the Muslim world who make it as the parents’ complete decision.

Kindness is a key concept in the household of a married Muslim couple. The man chose the woman as his spouse and thus entered a contract not only with her but with Allah too. Men must take heed as if one betrays his wife in this sense, one is betraying Allah.

Maintenance

Allah mentions in the Qur’an:

“Let a man of wealth spend from his wealth, and he whose provision is restricted – let him spend from what Allah has given him. Allah does not charge a soul except [according to] what He has given it. Allah will bring about, after hardship, ease.” 65:7

This duty must be fulfilled cheerfully without reproach or condescendence. Many of the men in the world feel a heavy load when spending on their spouse. For those who do not have much, let them spend from what they have. This shows us even further from a previous post on marriage that complete financial stability is not a necessity for nikkah in Islam.

Equity

The husband must treat his wife with equity and fairness in all sense in life. She is also entitled to her own accomodation with her wife and husband if it is financially viable. The husband cannot force his spouse to live with others such as family if she does not accept.

Respect

Respect her feelings, and to show her kindness and consideration. The prophet (ﷺ) said: “The most complete of the believers in faith, is the one with the best character. And the best of you are those who are best to their women.” [Tirmidhi]

Happiness

Not to show his wife any aversion or to subject her to suspense or uncertainty. Many of the men in today’s time judge their wives, not being happy with what they have when they themselves are imperfect. The prophet (ﷺ) said: “A believer must not hate a believing woman (i.e., his wife); if he dislikes one of her traits he will be pleased with another.” [Muslim]

Protection

Not to keep his wife with the intention of inflicting harm on her or hindering her freedom. The man asked for the woman’s hand in marriage, took her away from her family and thus takes on the responsibility of protection – not harm in any way.

The right to divorce

Let her demand freedom from the marital bond, if he has no love or sympathy for her. Unlike many other faiths, Islam allows divorce but must be fulfilled with certain conditions. This is the right of the woman as many are oppressed in their relationships – Islam gives a way out.

Trust

Be faithful in the relationship. The fact that the couple is married in Islam, Allah has put blessings between them. There is absolutely no right to be unfaithful in Islam.

Husband’s rights

Allah mentions in the Qur’an:

“O Allah, Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the joy and the comfort of our eyes, and guide us to be models of righteousness.” 25:74

The main obligation of the wife as a partner in a marital relationship is to contribute to the success and blissfulness of the marriage as much as possible. She must be attentive to the comfort and well-being of her mate. She may neither offend him nor hurt his feelings.

Trust

The wife must be faithful, trustworthy, and honest.

Conception

The wife must not deceive her husband by deliberately avoiding conception depriving any chance of offspring.

Intimacy

She must not allow any other person to have access to that which is exclusively the husband’s right. A wife may not deny herself to her husband, for the Qur’an speaks of them as a comfort to each other. Due consideration is, of course, given to health and decency.

Invitations

She must not receive anyone in the home whom the husband disapproves of.

Belongings

The husband’s possession are the wife’s trust. She must discharge her duty to handle any possessions wisely and carefully. She cannot lend or dispose of anything without his permission.

At the end of the day, marriage is a sacred bond in Islam. It forms not only the comfort and love in this world, but also a path to Jannah. Allah mentions in the Qur’an:

“O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from the Fire (hell)..” 66:6

Allah warns us to protect ourselves and our families – for those who are married this refers first and foremost to the spouse. Remind each other, call each other to the guidance of Allah. Make marriage the ultimate shield from the shaytan (devil) and not a way for him to deceive us.

The more we move away from Allah, the weaker the bond between the spouse will be. Never forget that the love between a husband and wife is put there by Allah.

“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” 30:21

Allah knows best.

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

Atheistic statements and ideas have played with many Muslims’ belief in Allah. In modern times Atheism is being portrayed as the normal view of the human being and everything else requires some sort of faith. We are going to explore here the arguments that can be put forth to counter Atheism.

Let us first understand what the Atheistic belief really is; there are many different ‘sects’ in Atheism but the core idea of it is that there is no God. For some of them they claim to have answers to how the universe came into existence while others simply say that “we still do not have any evidence but it is definitely not to do with any kind of creator”.

Allah asks a very simple question to the Atheists in the Qur’an:

“Were they created by nothing, or were they the creators [of themselves]?” 52:35

An educated Atheist will not deny that the universe had a beginning as this has basically been proven in science – the expanding universe for example. However, when one asks the Atheist what happened before the universe, this is when there are unsure answers. They will simply say that they do not know.

This is the first issue because if they have no knowledge of what happened prior to the existence of the universe then why do they call themselves “Atheists”? Since the word itself translates to “without God” while “Agnostic” means “without knowledge”. Thus we can derive that they are not disbelievers of God because of any proof, they simply deny God in any circumstance.

There is one main deductive argument to give to an atheist which is broken down into 3 parts:

1. Everything that begins to exist has a cause.
2. The universe began to exist.
3. Therefore, the universe has a cause.

What we must ask though is what kind of cause is this? Since if we simply claim that there was a cause, that had a cause, that had a cause etc. then we can progressively and infinitely keep saying the same thing which has no basis.

Therefore, it is more than logical to say that there has to be a cause which did not have a cause; it had no beginning; it has the knowledge and creative capacity to change the situation.

The Atheist can only deny one of two of these premises. The first premise is that they can claim that not everything that exists had a cause. However, they cannot answer why and how things do not just pop into existence on a day to day basis – there is simply no proof of this happening at all even with all the modern technology.

The second premise is that the universe always existed thus it is infinite. However, modern science directly opposes this idea through the expanding universe (i.e. “∞ + 1” is a paradox which has no sense).

Another argument we can put forth to the Atheist is what is known as the “fine tuning argument”. Fine tuning is the idea that the universe is so fine tuned and balanced as to allow life to exist. Paul Davies (a well-known cosmologist) has said that there is a broad agreement between physicists and cosmologists that the universe is fine tuned for human life.

This is an agreements between both believers and disbelievers. There are only 3 options to choose when it comes to how this universe became so finely tuned:

1. It evolved somehow: This option is not available in physics as there is no actual evidence for it at all. No serious physicist has ever made such a proposition thus it is simply unscientific.
2. It is a chance factor: This means that the universe was a random generation – it happened by chance. Roger Penrose (a renowned physicist at Oxford University) was talking about the entropy level at the beginning of the universe; entropy is a measure of thermal energy. He says that the possibility of the entropy level being the way it is at the beginning of the universe is: 10¹⁰ × 123. This is an extremely high number and this is one calculation for only one of the components of the universe. From this we can say that the idea that the universe is a chance factor is simply ridiculous.
3. There was a creator: An infinite being outside of boundaries of space and time – a being that invented space and time itself.

These are the logical arguments and statements about the start of the universe. However, we must all understand, especially the Muslims, that it is a natural predisposition to believe in God. Studies in Oxford University in 2011 showed that belief in God is a predisposed belief within children. So to believe in God nobody has to follow any kind of logic, there is no intelligence or smartness involved in this notion.

This is why we see many scientists and seemingly “smart” people disbelieving while in many uneducated areas around the world, we find people worshipping one God.

Allah says in the Qur’an:

“And [mention] when your Lord took from the children of Adam – from their loins – their descendants and made them testify of themselves, [saying to them], ‘Am I not your Lord?’ They said, ‘Yes, we have testified.’ [This] – lest you should say on the day of Resurrection, ‘Indeed, we were of this unaware.'” 7:172

All the progenies of Adam were given the natural feeling to believe in Allah. The Prophet (ﷺ) said: ” Allah says: I created all of My servants as hunafa’ (pure monotheists – believers in one God), but the devils diverted them from their belief.” [Muslim]

We cannot claim that it was merely environmental or situational that we deny the existence of God. It is within human nature, and the only way to remove that belief is to force it through following the whisper of the devils and lying to ourselves about all the proofs we see around us everyday until our hearts harden.

Let us remember, Allah does not turn His back on anyone – we are all His slaves. He did not create human beings as disbelievers, every single soul is given the ability to search for answers to why we are in this world and with sincerity it will inevitably lead to Allah – He simply asks that we take a step towards Him.

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Allah says: ‘I am just as My slave thinks I am, and I am with him if He remembers Me. If he remembers Me in himself, I too, remember him in Myself; and if he remembers Me in a group of people, I remember him in a group that is better than they; and if he comes one span nearer to Me, I go one cubit nearer to him; and if he comes one cubit nearer to Me, I go a distance of two outstretched arms nearer to him; and if he comes to Me walking, I go to him running.'” [Bukhari]

Allah knows best.

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

Delaying marriage has become a crisis in the modern Muslim world. It seems that the youngsters have been brain washed about the idea of marriage from secular culture; the West put forward that marriage is for when one is older after they have ‘lived life’.

The other extreme which is more common amongst the true young believers is that the parents and surrounding family make it too difficult:

• The mahr (dowry) is made too high.
• The expectations of the wedding are too much to handle.
• Probably the worst point of all is that the wali rejects a man or a daughter from marrying their child due to cultural differences.

None of these are from the sunnah and it is causing great fitna amongst the young especially in the west where zina is widespread. We have made zina so much more accessible than a halal marriage and it is corrupting the new generation.

Many of the young men claim that they cannot get married due to the fact that they do not have a job, house, car etc. and many of the women do not wish to marry such a man. Allah mentions in the Qur’an:

“And marry the unmarried among you and the righteous among your male slaves (Allah’s slaves) and female slaves (Allah’s slaves). If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty, and Allah is all-Encompassing and Knowing.” 24:32

Allah commands the believers to marry the righteous from among us including those who are poor or lack in funds – He will enrich them Himself. At the end of the day the rizkh (provision) is always from Allah and not from the job or money source we have.

There are many stories in which a couple went into marriage and soon after the man lost everything from his job to the house and everything in between. Who can guarantee us stability out of Allah’s decree?

The key in all of this is to have the right intentions and follow the Islamic teachings in finding a spouse while staying away from haram. Without Allah’s baraka (blessing) there will be corruption in the marriage.

Some of us also take the wedding itself too far. We expect so much from the celebration as to delay the marriage for the couple to save up enough to have it, at the end almost bankrupting them. Our weddings must be made simpler to make marriage easier and also kept halal to gain the most blessing from Allah.

For the biggest issue many of us delay marriage due to not finding someone within our culture. This is a form of racism in Islam. The prophet (ﷺ) said: “When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes to (someone under the care) of one of you, then marry to him. If you do not do so, then there will be trial (fitnah) in the land and corruption (fasad).” [Tirmidhi]

For the father who rejects a man due to his culture, you are directly opposing the order of the prophet (ﷺ).

The prophet also mentions: “A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Seek the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).”

This is for the men looking merely at one thing. When looking for marriage the first and foremost aspect to look into is the deen of the woman. Many of the men especially in the later generations do not look past the physical beauty of the potential spouse. They find the woman attractive and move directly for marriage.

Let us all take heed of these signs and guidance from Allah. Our new generations are suffering and most of that responsibility is on the shoulders of the parents. There will come a day when Allah will question us all. The youngster who delayed marriage because they claim they are young or lacking funds only to end up in haram. The parents who reject a righteous believer asking for the daughters hand. The parents who delay the children’s marriage for reasons such as studies.

What will we say to Allah?

May Allah make it easy on our youth and soften the hearts of the parents.

Allah knows best.

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

As explained in a previous post, zina is one of the worst major sins that can be committed. The simple explanation of zina is sexual relations outside the bond of marriage. Allah does not only prohibit zina but even going near it is considered part of the sin. He says:

“And do not go near unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way.” [17:32]

We live in times now when everything is sexualised. From movies to children’s cartoons/toys, even walking outside in the West is a fitnah. Undoubtedly it is one of the most difficult times to live in terms of zina especially for the youth who are constantly exposed to filth.

For those who truly wish to avoid it will have to put in the work. Allah only helps those who begin by helping themselves; we try our best then Allah makes things easier. Here are a few tools for those who sincerely wish to abstain from it:

• The prophet (ﷺ) said: “O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse, masturbation etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power.” [Bukhari] For our parents and elders, remember: when marriage becomes expensive and difficult, zina becomes cheap and easy.

• We all know that Allah has ordered both males and females to lower their gaze but it seems that we as mankind have difficulty in this, especially in our times. Not to say that the one who stares is not to be blamed, they are responsible for their sight, but for those who struggle there is a way to work towards stopping it: every time you stare at the opposite sex, make istighfar and pray 2 rakat or read a page from the Qur’an. This in turn will counter the sin as Allah says:

“..Indeed, good deeds do away with misdeeds. That is a reminder for those who remember.” [11:114]

Not only this but the shaytan will then link the stare with the prayer and Qur’an thus he will eventually avoid pulling you towards the sin in order for him to avoid you performing the good deed.

• Stop watching filthy movies and TV shows. This is not only including films with implicit scenes such as sexual activity or free mixing in clubs etc. but also those with inappropriate sense of dress. Women with tight or revealing clothing and makeup etc. or men dressed in a certain way revealing what is to be covered (from the navel to the knees) – these things will entice the body towards filth thus making it more difficult for the soul to tackle such desires.

• Stop accessing websites that you know will have material that will entice your sexual desires. This does not only include pornography (which is completely out the question) but also certain pages in social media sites or certain people’s profiles, don’t click on or follow their streams or posts and stop chatting with the opposite sex. Our electronic devices can either be a great tool or completely lead us astray – one must be weary of its power.

• Try to keep busy in life. If you find yourself doing nothing at all, do not stay alone unless it is in ibada (praying, reading Qur’an etc.). Stay with your family or go to the mosque, put yourself in a good environment. The places you go to and what you are doing will effect your desires and in turn effect your ability to control them.

• Watch who you are hanging out with. Your environment affects your mood and your ability to control your feelings. If you are free mixing or sitting with people who have no consciousness of Allah or Islam, it’s better not to be there in the first place. Mix with good people who fear Allah and remind eachother of goodness instead of evil.

• Keeping pure is another tool. Make wudu every time you go to the bathroom and ghusl every time you shower. Try to keep it throughout the day and before going to bed. Purity of the body in this manner will purify the soul. Allah says:

“..Allah loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves.” [2:222]

For those who Allah loves, there will always be ease in their hearts.

• Make dua. When Allah sees His slave trying, He will make things easier without any doubt, ask Him for help through dua. Never forget that Allah knows your struggles. However big or small, He knows it all and it is all recorded. Allah says:

“And with Him are the keys of the unseen; none knows them except Him. And He knows what is on the land and in the sea. Not a leaf falls but that He knows it. And no grain is there within the darknesses of the earth and no moist or dry [thing] but that it is [written] in a clear record.” [6:59]

He also reminds His slave:

“And We have already created man and know what his soul whispers to him, and We are closer to him than [his] jugular vein” [50:16]

Let us remember, tools such as these will not vanquish the desire but merely help keep it in control and will only help if we are already fulfilling our main duties as Muslims (such as our 5 daily prayers).

Allah tests us in this world through our desires and what we sacrifice for His sake is what will allow us to succeed, for our end goal is not temporary pleasure this world but permanent jannah in the next.

May Allah help all those who are struggling with the fitna of zina especially the youth.

Allah knows best.