Author: Amine Mansouri

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

As Muslims we know that the source of evil actions is a corrupted heart. However, within this notion of corruption there are issues which are apparent on the outside and there are others which aren’t so obvious.

An example of this could be in people of knowledge or students of Islam – people in the Ummah who are studying the Deen. Studying Islam is a must for all Muslims but there are certain individuals who pursue it more than others and this can apply to those who advise others on matters of the religion.

These individuals tend to gain some knowledge and teach it to others but the intention is not always pure. We have an issue of ego within many groups and individuals in our society. They look down on others based on their apparent behaviour or school of thought or the sheikh they listen to.

Even the scholars themselves have this problem, refuting each other without any real basis – simply to put others lower than themselves. This ego problem can lead to a hardened heart.

The root cause of this attitude is when one does not truly understand who Allah is or through their journey in life has forgotten who their creator is. No scholar or teacher or student or layman Muslim is the source of goodness – only Allah is the true source. When we forget that, we replace the appreciation of Allah with the appreciation of our own selves.

Some people can look very religious, they have the facade of a pious Muslim, they have all the knowledge and the right words. The beard or the khimar is there, all worn properly – on the outside they seem to be pure Muslims yet on the inside there’s an ego; an urgency to show supremacy, to show that they are more qualified than others.

This sense of supremacy is known as “kibr” – arrogance. As we know, the prophet (ﷺ) said: “No one who has an atom’s weight of arrogance in his heart will enter Paradise.” A man said, “O Messenger of Allah, what if a man likes his clothes and his shoes to look good?” He said, “Allah is Beautiful and loves beauty. Arrogance means rejecting the truth and looking down on people.”  [Muslim] Being denied Jannah is not a small matter as there is only one other place to go.

We have one one hand the “bad Muslims”; drink alcohol, parties, zina etc. – these people’s actions are outwardly, most of the time they can easily be recognised. However, the issue of ego is inwardly – it can’t be seen by others, in most cases. In no way should we condone outwardly sins – those are punishable for sure; but which of these situations is easier to fix? Think about it.

When a sin is on the outside it can be addressed by others and helped, but when it comes to arrogance, the only one that can sense it is the person himself.

If this problem is not fixed, the outwardly deeds will hold no value due to the heart not being in the right place. As Allah says:

The Day when there will not benefit [anyone] wealth or children

But only one who comes to Allah with a sound heart.”

[26:88-89]

Brothers and sisters, we must take a step back and judge our own hearts. The deen is for Allah and not to serve our own selves.

A few signs that can tell us if we have this problem could be if we get offended when someone corrects us in our deen. The correction could be completely wrong but our first thought should not be to take offence but instead to look at the good the advice may have and leave the bad.

Another sign could be taking offence when our opinion is not heard, not taken into consideration by others. Our intention should always be for Allah – if it is then it should not matter if others do not take it as our rewards will be with Allah either way.

A further sign could be that we find it easy to sin in private. There is an outer shell that others see but when we are alone, the evil within comes out – ego can lead to this since if the heart is no longer soft, sins will no longer affect us.

If we find ourselves not being moved by Allah’s words through reading or listening or tafsir of the ayahs, whatever it may be – this could be a sign of ego or a hardened heart. If the deen simply becomes a routine, the Qur’an just becomes something we read and salah is just something we do – this could be an inwardly problem. Allah says:

Has the time not come for those who have believed that their hearts should become humbly submissive at the remembrance of Allah and what has come down of the truth? And let them not be like those who were given the Scripture before, and a long period passed over them, so their hearts hardened; and many of them are defiantly disobedient.

[57:16]

We can only help ourselves with this, no other person can assist as it is unseen and must be judged on an individual level.

May Allah rid all our ego, purify our intentions and soften our hearts.

Allah knows best.

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

Our ummah is suffering greatly from impermissible relationships between men and women. It has become so easy to fall into this trap especially in Western society and the rise of online technology. Connections between the genders can be made 24/7 with a few presses on a phone or laptop. It has become a huge test especially on the youth.

For a girl and a boy to have a physical relationship outside of wedlock is widely known across the ummah to be haram. However, we have now fallen into the idea that it is okay for the genders to keep contact – whether in person or through social media, texting etc. – as long as nothing physical happens. Let us go through what the Qur’an says about this.

“And do not kill your children for fear of poverty. We provide for them and for you. Indeed, their killing is ever a great sin.

And do not go near unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way.

And do not kill the soul which Allah has forbidden, except by right. And whoever is killed unjustly – We have given his heir authority, but let him not exceed limits in [the matter of] taking life. Indeed, he has been supported [by the law].” [17:31-33]

Allah here does not mention performing the action of zina is haram – He says even going NEAR it is already a huge sin. This sin is so severe as to be mentioned along side the murder of innocent souls – it is not the only place this link is made:

“And those who do not invoke with Allah another deity or kill the soul which Allah has forbidden [to be killed], except by right, and do not commit unlawful sexual intercourse. And whoever should do that will meet a penalty.” [25:68]

Allah makes such links for a reason – to emphasise the severity of the sin. Staring at the opposite gender, talking privately, conversing alone all falls into going near zina. The prophet said: “No man is alone with a woman but the shaytan is the third one present.” [Tirmidhi] In our time this includes being in a private chat, sending texts, voice notes, pictures, going out alone etc.

The blessing of Allah is not there in these haram relationships. Allah mentions in the Qur’an:

“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you love and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” [30:21]

Real love is the love placed in the hearts by Allah and it is not done by disobeying Him. The “love” relationships we think we have is merely lust in disguise.

Maybe many of us in Islam have pure intentions when it comes to this – we want to meet a spouse. Let us understand that the person we are getting to know privately, is not showing their true side. Sincerely looking at it, both the man and woman are on their best behaviour – they are showing what will please the opposite. One will never truly understand the persona of a person until there are big responsibilities in place and the first step of that is marriage.

A real man and an honest woman who truly have pure intentions will look at the halal methods of getting to know each other. Family dinners and outings are an easy start. Having a family member as the silent 3rd in a group chat will avoid temptation of explicit talk. There are many ways around this – one has to be sincere.

How many times have we heard “we are just friends” or “we are just talking over the phone”? Shaytan will not stop there. Over time he will remove the guilt – it will become comfortable enough for one to justify one’s actions and he will encourage one to move to the next step. Where do we draw the line? Where do we stop? The boundaries become so blurred that it will simply not be clear enough to tell between haram and halal anymore. Islam says prevention is better than cure – do not go near it.

The prophet said: “Any share of fornication of the son of Adam is written and no doubt he will reach it: The fornication of the eyes is looking at that which is forbidden. The fornication of the ears is listening to that which is forbidden. The fornication of the tongue is saying that which is forbidden. The fornication of the hand is grasping that which is forbidden. The fornication of the feet is walking to that which is forbidden. The fornication of the heart yearns and desires and the genitals either confirm it or contradict it.” [Muslim]

Let us end with questions that the Muslims in these relationships should ask themselves.

Are you truly looking to get married following Allah’s guidelines?

If so, what will happen if you spend months or years “falling for someone”, intending to marry at the end, then the father refuses?

Let us ponder over this and let us guide each other to goodness not evil. Let the parents of the ummah realise the severity and widespread of this issue and open the doors to marriage for the younger generation.

Allah knows best.