Are arranged marriages condoned in Islam?

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

Let us first distinguish between arranged marriages and forced marriages as there is quite a big difference. Arranged involves both sides either using the help of family and friends to find a suitable spouse with both parties accepting the final decision. Forced however, does not offer a choice and it is usually the women who are victimised.

Arranged marriages are widespread amongst the Muslims communities around the world. It offers a way for the people wishing to find a spouse through the recommendations of people within their circle. This is not however, merely the choice of the parents; they cannot simply attempt to marry off the couple for their own social or personal reasons. The needs of the couple are what is used as the basis for the search – they cannot be pushed into any arrangement that they do not want.

Recommendations are usually given to the man as it is his responsibility to take the first step alongside the father. When a suitable partner is chosen, the couple must look at 4 things as mentioned in a previous post. The prophet (ﷺ) said “A woman may be married for four things: Her wealth, her lineage, her beauty or for her religion. Choose the religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e. may you prosper).” [Tirmidhi]

While the hadith may be talking about choosing a woman, it refers to both sexes. The most important aspect to look for is the deen. However, this does not mean that one is to ignore their preferences regarding physical beauty as attraction is part of marriage. It is simply much more important to prioritise the religion and without religion, one cannot get married in Islam. Allah says in the Qur’an:

“And do not marry polytheistic women until they believe. And a believing slave woman is better than a polytheist, even though she might please you. And do not marry polytheistic men [to your women] until they believe. And a believing slave is better than a polytheist, even though he might please you. Those invite [you] to the Fire, but Allah invites to Paradise and to forgiveness by His permission. And He makes clear His verses to the people that perhaps they may remember.” 2:221

Forced marriages are prohibited in our religion. Islam regards marriage as a right of the individual and therefore others cannot make the decision for them. If a woman/man is forced in marriage then the marriage would not be valid in front of Allah. If this happens then those who forced the marriage and those who allowed it are both guilty and have committed a major sin.